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You love each other, and still feel stuck.
You may love each other deeply and still find yourselves caught in the same painful conversations.
One of you reaches for connection while the other pulls away. Small disagreements become much bigger than either of you intended. You leave an argument feeling misunderstood, alone, or uncertain how to make things better.
Or perhaps nothing is terribly wrong. Life has simply become full, and somewhere along the way you've lost touch with the sense of closeness, play, or shared direction you once felt.
You want something to change, but you're not sure how to get there together.
Often, it's the pattern that keeps you apart.
In couples therapy, I'm interested in helping you understand what happens between you.
Not just what you're arguing about, but what each of you is feeling and protecting when those familiar moments unfold.
The partner who becomes critical may be longing to feel important. The partner who withdraws may be overwhelmed by the fear of getting it wrong.
These aren't the only possibilities, of course. Every relationship has its own particular story.
But when we begin to understand the more vulnerable experiences underneath our reactions, something can shift.
The person across from you may begin to feel less like an adversary and more like someone you can reach for.
What we can work toward
UNDERSTANDING YOUR CYCLE
Recognizing the recurring patterns that leave you both feeling disconnected, and learning to interrupt them.
FINDING NEW WAYS TO REACH EACH OTHER
Becoming more able to share what is tender, listen without immediately defending, and respond with greater care.
REPAIRING WHAT WAS HURT
Making room for the impact of painful experiences, rebuilding trust where possible, and developing a more honest relationship.
REDISCOVERING YOUR SHARED DIRECTION
Exploring what you want your relationship to be in service of, especially when the shape of your life together is changing.
A relationship is something we continue to tend.
COUPLES THERAPY
I don't think a good relationship is one in which conflict disappears.
It's one in which partners can increasingly recognize when they've lost each other, take responsibility for their part, and find ways to turn toward one another again.
My work with couples is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a relational approach that helps partners understand the emotional patterns underneath conflict and strengthen their capacity for connection.
I also bring a somatic perspective, paying attention to the ways our bodies respond when closeness feels uncertain or threatened.
And I make room for the larger questions: What matters to you both? What kind of partnership do you want to cultivate? How do you want to meet the years ahead?
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